How we work
There is a certain power in
kindness. Over the years I have learned so much about this concept; not all the
lessons have been fun. In particular some concepts stand out as more off
putting than others. One was recognizing that there is no capacity in me to do all
the kind things I would like to do; there are way too many opportunities. Another flaw understood was that there is no
way to control the perception of my generosity and that misinterpretations of
motive are many. Finally there is the very sad truth that good people do not
know how to simply take kindness. This is me and you. Odd really that we dream of a "kind"
world but when someone steps too far into the "giving" realm we step
back because of a feeling of bondage or that the person giving is being too
generous. Kindness is not easy.
Good people all want equity.
They want a balanced ledger, one that feels like they have given as much as
they receive. The words "did you
like my gift" and "yes I loved your gift" are a form or
relationship accounting and good people all work hard at balancing the book.
This is so telling of us. The story that
follows is not good accounting. In this story a debt was created that was never
intended to have paid back. There is no record of this debt on my ledger but
those people who fell victim to my kindness will remember. It is not "I" that exceeded this
kindness quotient but "us". My
customers, suppliers and my family are all as guilty. It is because of all of the above people that
I had the capacity to give as much as I did in the story soooo make sure you
include yourself in this story if you are one of the above people.
It was a Christmas Eve about
three years ago. Lousy weather all day with the snow coming down heavy and then
melting to a translucent slush on the road. At about noon I found out that the
city had sent out the plows fearful of what the forecaster flash freeze would
do to the roads. I knew this was trouble and went out to clear this slop from
my customers. I have never seen such a mess in my life. The piles on the end of
the drive started out knee high but immediately started settling like concrete.
I could see the asphalt under the pile. It was sooo heavy. Gross.
What normally would take
two-three hours ended up taking me from noon to 6:45pm. I remember as I almost
missed Christmas Eve service and could not clean up before going. I was the
poor drummer boy that night lol. I was
the nasty guy in town. People actually cried because of me...and you, you
helped pay for and maintain my truck with plow. If you give a boy a sling shot
all kinds of things will happen.
Here is how it worked. I
would drive down the street and see some cute old lady moving the snow one
tablespoon at a time. We got eye contact and through some system of signalling
that only an auctioneer could understand she moved and let me plow it for her.
Time taken was 15.5 seconds. This same visual discourse would happen between me
and the small boy already dressed for church or the man and his son trying to
get the car out, also obviously late for some event on Christmas Eve. People
would reach for their back pocket, they would rub their fingers together with a
questioning look or they would force me to open the window. The price was the
same for all of them. Nothing.
I was nasty and did not allow
a single one to pay. If they could expect Santa, some guy they have never
really met, to give free gifts worth many times the cost of my 15.5 second gift
AND if they can make the poor sap go through the chimney then poor me can make
them take my gift. Sure having eye
contact with the giver was harder, that's why Santa comes at night. All dirty
deeds should be done under the cover of darkness. It was weird, these people
had to put up with the little bit of sweat trickling out of my eye, mistaking
it for tears of joy at being able to give. I don't cry! I had to put up with their faces. Even now I
get a glimpse of the relief and thankfulness and I want more, I feel bad for
their debt and yet I pray for another storm.
My employees know the drill.
They know they are allowed to help, to use our blessing for others. They know
that 10 minutes giving directions to some lost guest of Guelph is not
"down time". There is actually a rule we have made for "helping"
in winter. If someone asks to have their drive done the worker is to charge our
going rate and then they are to keep the money for themselves. They are only
allowed to do it 3 times, if they like
us they can become part of the cool system that is us. If they see someone is
struggling with plow excretion they do not take into account the equity of
employment but just help. Some of you reading this know this.
Well, I am accepting of the
idea that my joy of being a nasty giver comes out of your monies as a customer
or the good work of our suppliers. My capacity to give comes from you. It is us
giving. Soooo, like with the employees, I am sharing this awesome power. All
customers and suppliers now have the power to "give a snow plow".
They can sic Sandra, Jami, Mark, Chrissy or I on one person in need during a
storm. They can be the giver. They can get the eye contact, they can have the
tear and they can struggle with the arrogant concept of being "the nice
guy". Lol, you think this is kind?
It's kinda mean. Why should I have to bear all the burden.
Just before printing this
story there was an incident at a Tim Hortons. I have heard of this happening.
In fact I have done this. The filthy deed of buying a stranger a coffee. Wow. I
defended myself as best as I could by throwing out a bunch of words. "No
its ok, I can get my own", "are you sure?", "oh thanks so
much". Obviously it was to no avail
and this guy won. It will do me no good to get revenge on the next stranger, it
will do nothing to eliminate this debt with this kind freak. It will stick in
my craw the same as the very kind appreciative words from a long term customer.
Thanks to all and keep it up.
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